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Webside humour
The husband rolled over on the couch. "Of course you ‘should’ be ashamed," he agreed. "Those two worthless brothers of yours never give us a cent." Dot com capital A teacher asked one of her pupils, "What’s the nation’s capital?" The reply was, "Washington D.C." On being asked what the ‘D.C.’ stood for, the pupil added, "Dot com!" Down service A man calling refrigerator repair service: "My refrigerator isn’t working!" "What kind is it?" "It’s a small one." "Electric, gas or propane?" "Propane." "Ah! Then the problem is most likely vapour lock. You don’t need a service call, just turn the refrigerator upside down for a few minutes to allow the lock to clear. Then put it back and all should be well" Second call came a few minutes later: "The least you could have done is to tell me to empty the fridge first!" Miracle cure A woman needed to visit the doctor’s office just to have her throat swabbed for a culture. She sat in the waiting room for quite some time with her legs crossed, reading a magazine while other patients came and went. Suddenly her turn was called, but when she stood up to go in, she discovered her leg was "asleep". Not wanting to keep the nurse waiting, she limped and staggered toward the inner office door. She noticed one elderly lady nudging another who sat beside her, as the two of them sympathetically watched her painful progress. Two minutes later, her procedure completed and her leg back to normal, she walked easily back into the waiting room. As she strode past the two elderly ladies, she overheard one whisper triumphantly to the other, "See, Myrtle, I TOLD you he was a wonderful doctor!" Meaningful words Like a lot of husbands throughout history, Webster would sit down and try to talk to his wife. But as soon as he would start to say something, his wife would say, "And what’s that supposed to mean?" Thus, Webster’s dictionary was born. Wedding advice At a wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest. The bride’s grandparents took the honours. The DJ asked them: "What advice would you give to the newly-married couple?" The grandmother said:
"The three most important words in a marriage are, ‘You’re
probably right.’" Everyone then looked at the grandfather for
his answer. He wisely answered: "She’s probably right."
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"I’m ashamed of
the way we live," a young wife said to her lazy husband who
refused to find a job. "My father pays our rent. My mother buys
all of our food. My sister buys our clothes. My aunt bought us a car.
I’m just so ashamed."