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Webside humour
“Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked the man seated in coach. “What are my choices?” he asked. “Yes or no,” she replied. Money matters A one dollar bill met a 20 dollar bill and said, “Hey, where’ve you been? I haven’t seen you around here much.” The twenty answered, “I’ve been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?” The one dollar bill said, “You know, same old stuff. Church, church, church.”
The irate diner raised his hand to catch the attention of a passing waiter. “Excuse me,” said the man, “but how long have you been working here?” “About a year,” replied the waiter. “In that case,” continued the diner, “it couldn’t have been you that took my order.”
A motorist, after being bogged down in a muddy road, paid a passing farmer five dollars to pull the car out with his tractor. After he was back on dry ground, he said to the farmer, “At those prices, I should think you would be pulling people out of the mud day and night.” “Can’t,” replied the farmer. “At night I haul water for the hole.”
Mrs Hunter was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused because she didn’t believe in capital punishment and didn’t want her personal thoughts to prevent the trial from running its proper course. But the public defender liked her thoughtfulness and quiet calm, and tried to convince her that she was appropriate to serve on the jury. “Madam,” he explained, “this is not a murder trial! It’s a simple civil lawsuit. A wife is bringing this case against her husband because he gambled away the $12,000 he had promised to use to remodel the kitchen for her birthday.” “Well, okay,” agreed Mrs Hunter, “I’ll serve. I guess I could be wrong about capital punishment after all.”
Show me the money, honey Jack’s grandfather left him $10 million, and the next week Diane agreed to marry him. After three months of married life, Jack noticed that his beautiful new wife was ignoring him more and more. On the rare occasion that she would go to bed with him she would be indifferent, or even worse, called out other men’s names! Whenever they went out in public, she ignored him and flirted with other men. Finally, he decided to confront her. “Diane,” he said, “the only reason you married me was because my grandfather left me $10 million when he died.” “Don’t be ridiculous,” she replied, “I don’t care who gave you the money!”
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It was mealtime during a trip on a small airline in the Northwest.
