|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Webside humour "Get this." said a guy to his friends, "Last night, while I was down at the bar with you guys, a burglar broke into my house in the dark.
"Yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. The wife thought it was me coming home drunk." Unbreakable sales pitch The roadside salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress. Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack. Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the ‘unbreakable’ comb for everyone to see and said, "And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside..." Reduced to ashes A guy goes to a girl’s house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a snack, and as he’s standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up, and as he’s looking at it, she walks back in. He asks "What’s this?" She says, "Oh, my father’s ashes are in there." He responds, "Geez...oooh....I..." She says, "Yeah, he’s too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray." At the gates of heaven St Peter becomes aware of a man standing outside the Gates of Heaven, pacing up and down. "Excuse me, can I help you?" he asks. "No, it’s all right. Won’t be long." And he distractedly looks at his watch, shrugs and paces on. St Peter gives it another 5 minutes and asks again. The man stops and says, "Look, you know I’m dead. I know I’m dead. Will someone please tell this to the cardiac arrest team down there?" Doctors & lawyers A doctor and a lawyer get into a car accident, and it’s a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither of the clerics is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, a lawyer says to the doctor, "There’s nothing left, but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days." The doctor replies, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God." And look at this," the lawyer says, "here’s another miracle! My car is completely demolished yet this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." He then hands the bottle to the doctor who takes a few big swigs, and hands the bottle back. The lawyer takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap on. The doctor asks, "Aren’t you going to take a drink?" "No, I think I’ll
wait for the police to join us."
|
||
|
|
||
"Did he get
anything?" his friends asked.