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Webside humour
He concluded by saying it carried only a one-year warranty but that I could buy a five-year warranty at an additional cost. I won’t buy anything that doesn’t carry a five-year warranty and so turned to leave. The salesman asked me to please stay while he consulted with his boss. “By the way,” he continued, “may I ask your age?” “Eighty-three,” I replied. He returned a moment later smiling. “We’ll give you a lifetime warranty.” Learning drive A police officer stopped a car which was zigzagging alarmingly. “Sir, what exactly are you doing?” “I’m learning to drive.” “What!? without an instructor in the car?” “It’s an online course.” Heavenly kitty A Pastor had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed but the kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and drove away so that the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten. He did all this, checking his progress in the car frequently. But as he moved a little further forward...the rope broke. The tree went “boing!” and the kitten instantly sailed through the air — out of sight. The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighbourhood asking people if they’d seen a little kitten. Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So, he prayed, “Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping,” and went on about his business. A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food. Now this woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, “Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?” She replied, “You won’t believe this,” and told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, “Well, if the Lord gives you a cat, I’ll let you keep it.” She told the pastor, “I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask Lord for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won’t believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws spread out, and
Illiterate vitamins “I would like some vitamins for my son,” the mother said as she walked into the pharmacy. “Vitamins A, B, or C?” asks the pharmacist. “It doesn’t matter, he can’t read yet.”
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A very old man decided to buy the television set whose attributes the young salesman had been extolling.
