Webside humour
In wife’s class
Sunil Sharma

One night a man — who was in no shape to drive — wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along the road, he was stopped by a policeman.

"What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer.

"I’m going to a lecture." the man said.

"And just who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked.

"My wife." said the man.

Weight watcher

A farmer in a beat-up old truck was driving to town when he spotted a hiker carrying a heavy backpack and a big suitcase. Being a caring man, the farmer pulled over and asked the young man if he wanted a ride. Even though the truck looked like it was about to fall apart, the young man put his suitcase in the back and climbed aboard. But the farmer was confused when he noticed the man still wearing the backpack.

"Why don’t you take a load off, and put that pack in the back with your suitcase?" asked the farmer.

The hiker responded, "That’s very kind of you sir, but I wasn’t sure if the truck could carry the extra weight. So I thought I’d carry it myself."

Work order

A union leader of a Road Construction Workers’ Union called the meeting to order.

"Men, we’ve agreed on a new deal with the employers. We’ll no longer have to work four days a week!"

"HOOORAY!!!" the crowd cheered.

"We’ll quit work at 4 PM and not 5 PM!"

"HOORAY!" the crowd roared.

"We don’t have to be in until 11 AM instead of 10 AM!"

"HOORAY!!!" the crowd thundered.

"And now, even though 99 per cent of the roads in the country are blocked by orange barrels, we’ll only have to work on Wednesdays!"

There was complete silence after this announcement.

Then a voice from the back of the room asked, "You mean, EVERY Wednesday?"

Kill bill

A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totalling a great deal of money.

The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn’t been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one."

The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can’t wait that long."

Killing climax

A man had a ticket for the theatre but when he was seated by the usher, he found that he was too far from the stage. He whispered to the usher, "This is a mystery play, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I’ll give you a handsome tip."

The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter.

The usher looks at the quarter, frowns at him, then leans over and whispers, ............ "The wife did it."

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