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Good looking grandpa
"Fifty years from now," said the second, "I want them to say, ‘He was a loyal family man.’" Turning to the third gent, he asked, "So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?" "Me?" the third one replied. "I want them to say, ‘He certainly looks good for his age.’" Tall tales Fred, Jim and Scott were at a business convention together. The three men were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper. After a long day of meetings, when they went back to hotel, they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Dejected Bill said to Jim and Scott, "Let’s break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I’ll tell jokes for 25 flights, Jim can sing songs for the next 25 flights and Scott can tell sad stories for the rest of the way."At the 26th floor, Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories."I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!!! Engineering solutions Three engineers are riding down the road in a car. Suddenly, the car developed trouble. It’s sputtering and it sounds like it’s going to stall. The first engineer is a chemical engineer. He says, "The problem could be something in the fuel line. Lets put an additive into the gas and maybe that will take care of the problem of the car." The second engineer is an electrical engineer. She says, "It could be something in the electrical system. Let’s replace the wires and the distributor cap. Maybe that will take care of the problem." The third engineer is a software engineer from Microsoft. He says, "It could be that we have too many windows open. Let’s close all the windows, turn off the car, then restart the car and open all the windows again. Maybe that will take care of the problem." Dust to dust The bride was anything but a tidy housekeeper. It didn’t bother her much until one evening when her husband called from the hall, somewhat dismayed: "Honey, what happened to the dust on this table? I had a phone number written on it." Train speed A passenger train is creeping along, painfully slow. Finally, it creaks to a complete halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What’s going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walking by again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with that cow again?"
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Three elderly gentlemen
were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them
fifty years from now. "I would like my grandchildren to say, ‘He
was successful in business,’" declared the first man.