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What do you say about a 22-year-old girl whose spine is shattered in a car crash? That her life is over before it has even begun? That she will lead a life of dependence and misery and become a 'burden' on her family? That she will be seen as a deficient, unattractive being who can never hope for romance, love and conjugality? Shivani Gupta's autobiographical account challenges these deeply entrenched cultural stereotypes about people with disability. The author takes us through the trauma after the accident that found her flat on her back, paralysed, and the harrowing experiences of the public hospital where she spent weeks staring at the dingy ceiling, inhaling the overpowering odour of disinfectant and hearing the moans of fellow patients. Shivani chronicles her 'rebirth' as a wheelchair user and takes us through the everyday realities of her new life — personal appearance, clothing, body image, dependence upon a personal attendant, bowel and bladder control, going out and shopping , re-negotiating personal relationships — with compelling candour.
Back home, she learns how to live independently, away from the protective and sometimes overpowering embrace of her family. She makes new friends, and meets the man who is to become her "best friend, lover, comrade and guide", Vikas Sharma. As opposites are wont to, the two are attracted to each other; as professional colleagues they strengthen each other's hands and go on to do path-breaking work together in the areas of accessibility and inclusive environments. Their partnership, working, studying, travelling, "learning to fly" — results in the formation of "AccessAbility," a venture that seeks to "change the world" and make it fit for persons with disability, and not the other way around. In their personal lives too, a major breakthrough takes place; their families accept their relationship and they marry. Shivani's reflections on the dynamics of becoming an Indian daughter-in-law and her identity as a woman with disability are poignant. She narrates how she is carried up a flight of stairs to meet her in-laws in their apartment and sits awkwardly in the drawing room as the men have their Scotch and the womenfolk bustle around in the kitchen preparing and serving food! Four months after the wedding, on their way to Manali, Shivani and her family find themselves in another terrible road accident in which Vikas and his father lose their lives. Shivani's account of the days that follow is moving. Her experience of the frailty of the corporeal body carries over to her understanding of loss, sorrow and pain, which are an inescapable part of the human condition. She seeks solace in the knowledge that she was blessed with love that was reciprocated in ample measure, whose intensity she is now able to fully appreciate. The callousness of the medical system, the daily indignities of being a person with disability in India, the role of family and friends and the healing power of love. It is a must read.
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Her narrative highlights
the transient, fragile nature of the bodies we inhabit and the way
society and culture "disable" people far more than their
impairments do. Converting adversity into opportunity, Shivani embarks
upon a career in rehabilitation and counseling at the newly
established Indian Spinal Injuries Centre. An opportunity to visit and
train in the UK empowers. There is a realisation that people with
disabilities do not have to live life on the margins and that society
must be responsive to their needs.