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Lost and found
Green present During Christmas, a child is sitting in their living room with his parents. His mother asks, “Son, what do you want for Christmas?” The son replies, “Well, I am not specifying anything particularly, but I like the colour green,” having money in mind. On Christmas morning, the child ran down to see his gift. He asks his mother on the stairs, “Mom, what did I get for Christmas?” The mother replies, “Son, it’s something that will let you see green all year long.” The boy very happily runs into the living room to see...the LAWN MOWER.
Travel travails A student was heading home for the holidays. When she got to the airline counter, she presented her ticket to New York. And as she gave the agent her luggage, she made the remark, “I’d like you to send my green suitcase to Hawaii, and my red suitcase to London.” The confused agent said, “I’m sorry,
we can’t do that.” “Oh, really?” she said, “I am so relieved to hear you say that because that’s exactly what you did to my luggage last year!”
High and above A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story is: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Nobel work A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, “Ah! Excuse me mister, but what are you doing?” The farmer replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.” “How?” asks the man, puzzled. “Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out, standing in their field.”
A father finds his four-year-old daughter outside brushing their dog’s teeth using his toothbrush. Dad asks, “What are you doing with my toothbrush?” The daughter replies, “I’m brushing his teeth. But don’t worry dad, I’ll rinse it out when I’m done just like I always do.”
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A police car pulls up in front of Grandma Bessie’s house, and Grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park ... and couldn’t find his way home.
“Oh Morris,” said Grandma, “You’ve been going to that park for over 30 years! So how could you get lost?”
Leaning close to Grandma, so that the policeman couldn’t hear. Morris whispered, “I wasn’t lost ... I was just too tired to walk home.”
