|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"If I were to give you a small deposit for this item, could you possibly hold it for me?" "Certainly," replies the clerk. "For how long shall we hold the item? "Until my husband does something unforgivable." Entrance to heaven A man, while driving home one evening from a dinner with his wife, is involved in a terrible car accident. The man dies on the scene. The man, after a short journey through a dark tunnel with a bright light at the end, finds himself at the gates of heaven. St Peter is awaiting his arrival at the gates, and hails him towards the entrance to heaven. "Sir, you have proved yourself to be a kind and generous soul. You are worthy to pass through these gates. I ask only one thing of you: spell this one simple word, which embodies all of which you must embrace, and you may enter. That word is ‘love’." "Love???" the man quips, "Love? That’s easy. L-O-V-E" And St Peter opens the pearly gates, letting the man step inside. Just as the man steps into the realm of heaven, St Peter’s beeper goes off. It seems that his attention is needed by the Holiest on High, and he must attend an ad hoc meeting. "Excuse me, newcomer," says St. Peter, "could you please watch the gates whilst I meet with God? All I ask of you is that you let no one in unless they spell the word correctly. This will take but a few minutes." "OK," the man replies. And St. Peter vanishes into thin air, leaving the man with a bright, silver key to the gates. A few moments later, the man’s wife appears in front of the gates. "Hello dear" she says. "What are you doing here?" the man asks. "Well, they rushed me to the hospital, and for awhile it seemed as though I might pull through, but I wasn’t so lucky. Died of internal hemorrhaging." The man, following the instructions of St. Peter, tells her, "My beloved, in order for you to pass through the gates of heaven, you only need to spell one simple word ... ‘Czechoslovakia’. Bashed up A husband and wife were shopping at a mall kiosk, a shapely young woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. The husband’s eyes followed her till she disappeared from the sight. Without looking up from the item she was examining, the wife asked, "Was it worth the trouble you’re in now?" Age-less beauty A wife was very disappointed and quite upset over her husband forgetting her birthday. He diplomatically responded, "How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?"
|
||
|
|
||
A woman sees a beautiful
tennis bracelet in a jewellery store window. Not having the money to
purchase the item, but desperately longing for it, she enters and
speaks to the clerk.