Webside humour
Best is not good
Sunil Sharma

A middle-aged man wasn’t feeling well, so he went to the
doctor for a check-up. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, “Well, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking.”
The man said, “Well, to be honest with you, Doc, I think I don’t deserve the best. What’s the second best?”

Spelling trouble

Mrs Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband."Henry," she said, "I’ve just received a letter from mother saying she isn’t accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn’t you?"

"Er, yes, I did," said the husband. "But I couldn’t spell ‘convenience,’ so I made it ‘risk’."

Self-deception

After the Halloween party, the couple was driving home late at night. The woman asks her husband, "Honey, has anyone ever told you how handsome, sexy and irresistible

to women you are?"

The flattered husband replied with quite modesty, "No, dear, they haven’t."

The wife then inquired very softly, "Then what the heck gave you that idea at the

party tonight?"

Surgical beauty

Irving was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his wife, Sarah, was sitting at his bedside. His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, "You’re beautiful."

Flattered, Sarah continued her vigil while he drifted back to sleep. Later he woke up and said, "You’re cute."

"What happened to ‘beautiful’?" Sarah asked.

"I guess the effect of drugs must be wearing off," he replied.

No sorry but thank you

Returning to her seat after the interval in a theatre, a woman

asked a man at the end of the row, "Pardon me, but did I step on your foot before?"

Expecting an apology, the man said, "It so happens you did."

The woman nodded. "Good. Then this is my row."

Teamwork

"If you’ll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."

"Good, what are we having for breakfast?" asked the new husband.

"Toast and juice," replied the smart bride.

Tailing misery

"How long have you been driving without a tail light?" asked the policeman after pulling over a motorist. The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car and gave a long, painful groan and put his face in his hands.

He seemed so upset that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit.

"Come on, now," he said, "you don’t have to take it so hard. It isn’t that serious."

"It isn’t?" cried the motorist. "Then you know what happened to my boat and trailer?"

Teen attire

A teen-aged boy with spiked hair, nose ring and baggy clothes was overheard telling a friend, "I don’t really like to dress like this, but it keeps my parents from dragging me everywhere with them."

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