|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"That depends," said the salesman. "They run from $2 to $2,000." "Let’s see the $2 model," he said. The clerk put the device around the man’s neck. "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he instructed. "How does it work?" the customer asked. "For $2 it doesn’t work," the salesman replied. "But when people see it on you, they’ll talk louder!" Special day Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don’t know what day this is." "Of course I do," he indignantly answered, and rushed out of the door to the office, thinking that today must be some special day of their life, her birthday or anniversary which he has forgotten. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favourite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn’t wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I’ve never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!" Miscommunication "Skipper," the sailor said to his captain as he saluted, "A special message just came in for you from the admiral. I have it right here." "Read it to me," the captain ordered. The sailor read, "You are without a doubt the most idiotic, lame-brained officer ever to command a ship in the United States Navy." The skipper responded, "Have that communication decoded at once!" Foot in mouth A middle aged woman was driving through a school zone when a policeman pulled her over for speeding. As he was giving her the ticket, she said, "How come I always get a ticket and everyone else gets a warning? Is it my face?" "No, ma’am," explained the officer, "it’s your foot." Slow work An off-ramp of a freeway in Long Beach, California, has been torn up for years. Recently, someone put up a handmade sign reading, "Scientists tell us that the sun will burn out in one and a half billion years. It is sad that this contractor will have to finish working in the dark." Super spy A college graduate applied for a job as an industrial spy. Together with several other applicants, he was given a sealed envelope and told to take it to the fourth floor. As soon as the young man was alone, he stepped into an empty hallway and opened the packet. Inside, a message read: "You’re our kind of person. Report to the fifth floor." Marriage mirage Daughter: What is marriage? Mom: "Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore".
|
||
|
|
||
A man realised he needed
to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money.
"How much do they run?" he asked the clerk.