SOCIETY
Lone rangers love their ‘me time’
Be it an assertion of self-confidence or merely following their heart's trail, urban Indian women don't make too much of going out alone for a coffee, sightseeing or even watching a movie. We talked to a few of them about their ideal solo sojourn
Swati Rai

Recently when actor Gul Panag tweeted a picture of her solo lunch at a swish restaurant in Mumbai, she was flooded with calls from her friends asking her why she didn't seek their company. Talking about spending time on her own in a rapidly modernising world, the tech- savvy action adventurer says, "I make it a point to arrive at my meeting at least 15 minutes before schedule, or even sometimes spend those extra minutes in the locker room of my gym to spend time with myself." Gul is not alone in spending this 'me' time with oneself, it is a common sight amongst women in metros.

The fact that many women are now also choosing to go on solo holidays of self-discovery is a heartening trend. Delhi-based Pilates instructor, and mom to a teenaged son, Priya Roongta, says, "I go out with myself all the time. I have done it without wanting to prove anything to anyone! I simply enjoy my own company, I am comfortable with my pace of shopping and browsing, sitting in a lovely cafe seeing the world go by, watching a play or eating a meal. I simply don't think too much of it. Probably every woman should exercise her freedom in a way she chooses to; this is mine."

Author Sangeeta Mallcurator of the Beyond Pink series of books on the dilemma and dynamics in the life of the urban Indian woman, says, "The modern Indian woman by and large has a choice and, most importantly, is aware and unhesitant of making that choice! Cinema halls in Mumbai have started something unique called the single moms matinee show which are heavily subscribed to. I feel the urban Indian woman is coming out on and into her own, so who's complaining!" Quiz her about the perils of venturing out alone even in Mumbai in the wake of the recent heinous rape incident she reacts, "that is certainly an anomaly!"

Has the essential Indian society undergone a change so as not to judge a woman out for some quiet 'me' time? And what makes the average Indian woman go out on her own? Bareilly- based teacher Sarika Jha says, "It's great to be out alone, not being led or leading, making mistakes and not being rebuked by anyone, free of any encumbrances." The same sentiment is voiced by US-based housewife, the mother of a nine year old, Nandini Pande who says, "One misses the coolest things when one drives by. Walking at your own pace, looking around, and stopping to take pictures of the most mundane things is always a treat. I fail to understand women who always need company to start exercising, go shopping and almost everything else!"

The Delhi-based mother of two, an ex IT professional, Anamika Mahajan concurs, "Why not? you really need some time to just switch off from all the worldly tensions of husband, children et cetera and be with your own self; someone whom you haven't had time to cry and laugh with; to bolster your own ego so that you can regain your self-confidence (just in case you lost it on the way)."

Clearly calling this change, a trend would be going too far and too soon. Gul Panag adds, "I wouldn't call it a trend as that would be over-generalising the issue but surely it is something that is not unseen in metros. I think it also depends from individual to individual. I can only speak for myself when I say that I have the self-confidence to be on my own and enjoy my company."

What they feel

Sumitra Senapaty, founder of The WOW (Women On Wanderlust) club is of the view that "Travelling is highly personal and what one person does, enjoys, or finds enjoyable, another won't - and the same goes with risk. Travel solo but avoid being alone by yourself. Even if you decide to vacation on your own, try and connect with the locals while on the road, meeting new people along the way will surely add to the joy of your journey. Find the travel experience that you think fits you personally and that makes you excited and plan to do just that! That's how we grow and change, not by doing outright risky things, but by confronting the small fears that dwell inside us and interfere in being able to live the life we want."

Anuja Chauhan, author of Those Thakur Girls, The Zoya Factor, Battle for Bittoria, etc. says: "Oh yes, I do this a lot. Makling an effort to spend quality time with yourself is great fun and very re-energising. I do this specially when I'm shopping, because I can move at my own pace and not worry about having to stand around politely and get bored while my friends shop!"

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