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Webside humour Sunil Sharma
“Ever go fishing?” the policeman suddenly asked the man. “Ummm, yeah... so,” the startled man replied. The officer grinned and added, “Ever catch ALL the fish?” God is a woman! One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem!” “What’s the problem, Eve?” “Lord, I know you’ve created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I’m just not happy.” “Why is that, Eve?” came the reply from above. “Lord, I am lonely. And I’m sick to death of apples.” “Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you.” “What’s a ‘man’, Lord?” “This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He’ll lie, cheat, and be vainglorious; all in all, he’ll give you a hard time. But, he’ll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will provide you with companionship and satisfy your desires. Yet, he’ll be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won’t be too smart, so he’ll also need your advice to think properly.” "Sounds great,” says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. “What’s the catch, Lord?” “As I said, he’ll be proud, arrogant, and self- admiring. . So you’ll have to let him believe that I made him first. . So, just remember: it’s our secret. Woman to Woman.” Be a support The prospective son-in-law was asked by his girl friend’s father, “Son, can you support a family?” “Well, no, sir,” he replied. “I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you have to fend for yourselves.” And the Lord created... A group of leading scientists had done huge amounts of research in chemical analysis, and bio-chemistry. After many years of toil, they confronted the Lord about his “Creation” process. “We have studied and analysed and learned, and have found that we can create life, the same as you did.” said the scientists to Lord. “You can?” asked the Lord. “Yes. We can create living forms, the same way you did. And faster too. And we’ll prove it.” The Lord replied, “Ok, prove it.” So one of the scientists reached down and grabbed up a handful of dirt to put into a dish. “Uh uh uhhh” said the Lord. “What?” asked the scientists. “Get your OWN dirt!”
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A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all travelling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, “Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don’t think it’s fair. There were plenty of other cars around me going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?”