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"I’m here to fix the leaky pipe." "I didn’t call a plumber," the lady said. Plumber: "Aren’t you Mrs Snyder?" "No, the Snyders moved out of this house over a year ago, " she replied. The plumber grumbled, "How do you like that! They call you up and tell you it’s an emergency and then they move away!" Slotted A man was on vacation, playing the slot machines. It was his first time in a casino, and he wasn’t sure how the machines operated. "Excuse me," he said to a casino employee. "How does this work?" The worker showed him how to insert a bill, hit the spin button, and operate the release handle. "And where does the money come out?" he asked. The worker smiled and motioned to a far wall before saying, "Usually, at the ATM." Apprentice The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard at low pay for long hours. The blacksmith immediately began his instructions to the lad, "When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer." The apprentice did just as he told. Now the villagers are looking for a new blacksmith. Butchered A woman walks into a butcher shop and asks the butcher about the price for a pound of tenderloin. "$12 per pound," replies the butcher. "Are you sure? That can’t be," says the lady. "Look, madam, it says right here on the card that it’s $12 per pound." "But that seems so high compared to other butchers in the area." "Lady, maybe they gave you the price for a poorer cut of beef." "No, the butcher across the street said it was $9 per pound," she says. "Well, then, why don’t you go buy it there?" asks the butcher. "Because they are all out." "Well, when I’m all out, I sell it for $8 per pound," retorts the butcher. Fast and smart The police officer got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window. "I’ve been waiting for you all day," the officer said. The kid replied, "Well, I got here as fast as I could." When the officer finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. Branded roommate A marketing type managed to corner me at the mall and was asking a series of survey questions: "Which shaving cream do you use?" "Baba’s." The interviewer recorded the answer and proceeded with the next question. "Which aftershave do you use?" "Baba’s." "Which deodorant do you use?" "Baba’s." "Which toothpaste do you use?" "Baba’s." "Which shampoo do you use?" "Baba’s." "Which soap do you use?" "Baba’s." "Thank you. I have one final question: tell me please, what is ‘Baba’s?’ Is it a foreign company?" "No, Baba is my roommate."
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A lady answers her front
door to find a plumber standing there.