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The blonde replied, "Don’t worry, officer, it won’t be long now. The 47th bus just went by!" Scary scale Two children went into their parent’s bathroom and noticed the scale in the corner. "Whatever you do," cautioned one child to the younger one, "don’t step on it!" "Why not?" asked the sibling. "Because every time mom does, she lets out an awful scream!" Tipping the scales At the scale manufacturers’ convention, people often wanted to weigh themselves on different scales to see if they agreed. However, some visitors abstained, not wishing to advertise their weight. A smooth-talking representative coaxed a woman onto his scale by promising her that he would not look and that she could even cover the digital display so only she could see her weight. She finally stood on the scale, whereupon a loud, mechanical voice from within the machine announced: "One hundred and sixty-three." Scaly vision A lady noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this manoeuvre, she commented, "I don’t think that’s going to help." "Sure it does," he said. "It’s the only way I can see the numbers." Oh baby! A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list. "Ma’am," he explained, "I’m on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper so I can earn a dollar." "Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?" "My babysitter’s boyfriend." Million-dollar dream The school of agriculture’s dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student, "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked. "I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied. "Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the dean much impressed. "No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it."
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A blonde guy was
visiting Washington, DC for the first time. He wanted to see the
Capitol building. He didn’t know where it was, so he asked a police
officer for directions, "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the
Capitol building?" The officer replied, "Wait here at this
bus stop for the number 54 bus. It’ll take you right there." He
thanked the officer and the officer drove off. Three hours later the
police officer returned to the same area and find him still waiting at
the same bus stop. The officer got out of his car and said,
"Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait
here for the number 54 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you
still waiting?"