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Webside humour
"Actually, yes, we are," one cleric replied. "Why?" "Because," said the caddy, "I’ve never seen such bad golf and such a clean language!" Picture perfect A woman went into a bank to get a check cashed, but she didn’t have an account with them. When the teller her asked for some identification, the woman showed her several charge cards, her social security card and a library card. The teller told her they needed a driver’s license, but the woman said she didn’t have one. "Don’t you have anything with your picture on it?" the teller asked. "Oh, sure," she said, as she flipped to a family photo in her wallet. "That’s me in the back row." Low-salary boss A man owned a small farm in South Georgia. The Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent to interview him. "You just give me a list of your employees and tell me how much you pay them." "All right," said the farmer. "I have a hired man. Been with me for three years. I pay him $600 a week, plus room and board. I have a cook. She’s been here six months. She gets $500 a week plus room and board." "Anybody else?" asked the agent as he scribbled on a note pad. "Yeah," the farmer said. "This guy is none too bright. Works about eighteen hours a day. I pay him ten dollars a week and give him chewing tobacco." "Aha!" the agent roared. "I want to talk to that man!" "Speaking," said the farmer. Capital punishment Judge to prospective juror: "And why do you wish to be excused from serving on this jury?" "Your honour, it’s because I don’t believe in capital punishment and I don’t want my personal thoughts to prevent the trial from running its proper course." "Madam, this is not a murder trial. It’s a civil lawsuit. A wife is bringing this case against her husband because he gambled away the $25,000 he had promised to use to remodel the kitchen for her birthday." "Well, okay. I’ll serve. I guess I could be wrong about capital punishment after all." Lengthy sermon Pregnant fireman "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said the teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don’t you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young student confidently. "It means ‘carrying a child’."
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Taking advantage of a
balmy day in New York, three priests swapped their clerical garb for
polos and khakis and time out on the golf course. After several really
horrible shots, their caddy asked, "You guys wouldn’t be
priests by any chance?"