Webside humour
Raising the bar
Sunil Sharma

The warden, addressing the three instigators of a failed prison riot, said, “I would like to know two things.
First: “Why did you revolt and second: How did you get out of your cell?”
One of the three men stepped forward, “Warden, we rebelled because the food is awful.”
“I see. And what did you use to break the bars?” the warden asked.
Replied the spokesman, “French Toast...”

Pet-ty food

A lady goes into a pet store one day. “I’m lonely,” she says to the clerk. “I need a pet to keep me company.”

“Well,” replies the clerk. “How about this nice parrot? He’ll talk to you.”

She likes the idea, buys the parrot and takes him home.

Next day she comes back to the pet store. “You know, that parrot isn’t talking to me yet,” she says.

“You buy this little ladder for his cage. He’ll climb the ladder...and then he’ll talk,” says the clerk.

So off she goes with a newly purchased ladder.

Next day, she is again back to the pet store. “Hey, that parrot still hasn’t said a word,” she says.

The clerk thinks a minute. “How about this little mirror?” he says. “You hang it at the top of the ladder. The parrot will climb the ladder, look in the mirror and then he’ll talk to you.”

She buys the little mirror and goes home.

Next day she is again back to the shop. “Well, I’m getting a bit discouraged,” she says. “That parrot STILL won’t talk to me.”

The clerk scratches his head. “Let me think....AHA! Try this bell. You hang it over the mirror. That parrot will climb the ladder, look in the mirror, ring the bell, and then he will surely talk to you!”

“Well, all right, I’ll give it a try,” says the lady..

The next day she comes back yet again to the pet shop, and she is mightily distressed. “What’s wrong?” asks the clerk.

“My parrot...well, he died,” was the quiet reply. “Ohmigosh! I’m so sorry for your loss!” exclaimed the clerk. “But I have to ask you, did the parrot ever say anything to you?”

“Oh yes, he said one thing, right before he died,” she replied.

“Well, what did he say?” asked the clerk.

The lady replies: “He said, ‘DOESN’T THAT STORE CARRY ANY FOOD?!!?’”

Lessons in love

A frog telephoned the psychic hotline and was told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you.”

The frog said, “That’s great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?”

“No,” said the psychic, “Next term — in her biology class.”

Dust unto dust

A soldier went up to the company cook and said, “If you put a lid on the pan there’ll be less dust and dirt in the food”.

The cook, very annoyed, replied, “You mind your own business. Your duty is to defend the homeland!”

“That’s right,” said the soldier. “But my duty is to defend it, not to eat it.”

HOME