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Dear collegue The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office.
"John," the new guy replied. The manager scowled, "Look... I don’t know what kind of a mamby-pamby place you worked before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only... Smith, Jones, Baker... That’s all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?" The new guy sighed, "Darling. My name is John Darling." "Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . ." Rude awakening A pollster was taking opinions outside the United Nations building in New York City. He approached four men waiting to cross the street: a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a resident New Yorker. He asked, "Excuse me, I would like to ask you your opinion on the current meat shortage?" The Saudi replied, "Excuse me, but what is a shortage?" The Russian said, "Excuse me, but what is meat?" The North Korean replied, "Excuse me, but what is an opinion?" The New Yorker replied, "What is ‘excuse me’?" Clever kitty A woman is walking in the part when she sees a man playing chess with his cat. She says to the man "I can’t believe what I’m seeing, a cat that plays chess, what a clever animal". The man replied "Nah lady this cat is not clever at all. I’m beating it 6 games to 1". Snail pace A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can’t help laughing and eventually says: "Don’t you know there aren’t any apples on the tree yet?" "Yes," said the snail, "but there will be by the time I get up there." Dogged tales Two women, who are dog owners, are arguing whose dog is smarter. First woman: ‘My dog is so smart, every morning he waits for the paperboy to come around and then he takes a newspaper and brings it to me. Second woman: "I know". First one: "How?" Second one: My dog told me." Smarty sibling While their parents were out, two eight and six years’ old brothers were having dinner together. On the table there was a dish with one big piece of fish and one small piece of fish. They politely said to each other: "You may choose first." "No, you may choose first." And this goes on for a while. Then the younger brother said: "OK, I’ll take first." And he took the bigger piece of fish. The older brother: "Why did you take the big piece? That’s not polite!" The young sibling said: "Which piece would you have taken?" "Why, I would have taken the SMALL piece, of course," said the older brother With a smile, the young one said: "Well, that’s what you have now!"
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"What is your
name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.