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Serial punishment
"Only the daytime ‘saas-bahu’ soap-opera shows," the inmate said. "At night we’re locked in our cells and don’t see any television." "That’s too bad," the reporter said, "But I do think it is nice that the warden lets you watch it in the daytime." "What do you mean, nice?" the inmate said. "That’s part of the punishment." Hair rising photo A woman brought an old picture of her dead husband, wearing a hat, to the photographer. She asked the photographer if he could remove the hat from the picture. He convinced her he could easily do that, and asked her what side of his head he parted his hair on. "I forgot," she said. "But you can see that for yourself when you take off his hat." Ear piercing The students in a third grade class were curious when they found that one of their classmates had pierced her ears recently. They bombarded her with questions about her newly pierced ears. "Does the hole go all the way through?" "Yes." "Did it hurt?" "Just a little." "Did they stick a needle through your ears?" "No, they used a special gun." Silence followed, and then one solemn voice called out, "How far away did they stand?" Gunning for directions The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator, "Do you know what I use this for?" The navigator replied timidly, "No, what’s it for?" The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!" The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and placed it on his chart table. The pilot asked, "What’s that for?" "To be honest sir," the navigator replied, "I’ll know we’re lost before you will." Doggy tales A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog was exhibiting an extraordinary performance. "That is a very smart dog", the man commented. "He’s not so smart," said one of the irked players. "Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail". Reserved answer A man called to make reservations on a small charter plane that departed from an equally small airport. Knowing that he would be flying in a very small plane, he was not surprised when the clerk said, "The plane is full with baggage and passengers." Then the clerk again asked, "How much do you weigh, sir?" Not thinking clearly the man answered, "With or without clothes?" "Well," said the clerk, "how do you intend to travel?" Wrinkled The nine-year-old daughter walked in while her mother was getting ready to turn in for the night. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Putting on my wrinkle cream," mom answered. "Oh," she said, walking away. "I thought they were natural."
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A newspaper reporter was
writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing one of
the prisoners. "Do you watch much television here?"