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Aspirant Second donkey: “Why do you not leave your owner?” First donkey: “I was thinking about the same, but he has a very good looking daughter. Whenever she does some mischievous acts, he says that he will get her married to some donkey and I am just waiting for that to happen”. Prayers
A Minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy: “Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?” The guy replies: “I’m Joe Cohen, taxi driver, of New York City.” St Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, “Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” The taxi driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it’s the minister’s turn. He stands erect and booms out, “I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Calvary Church for the last forty-three years.” St. Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, “Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” “Just a minute,” says the minister. “That man was a taxi driver, and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?” “Up here, we work by results,” says Saint Peter. “While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed.” Good deed
A man appears before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. “Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asks. “Well, I can think of one thing,” the man offers. “Once, on a trip to the Black Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker. I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, and told him, ‘Leave her alone now or you’ll answer to me.’” St. Peter was impressed. “When did this happen?” “Just a couple of minutes ago.” Helpful dog Just after the maid had been fired, she took five bucks from her purse and threw it to Fido, the family dog. When asked why by her former employer, she answered: “I never forget a friend. This was for helping me clean the dishes all the time”! Delight After her divorce was final, a lady went to the local Department of Motor Vehicles and asked to have her maiden name reinstated on my driver’s license. “Will there be any change of address?” the clerk inquired. “No,” she replied. “Oh, good,” the clerk said clearly delighted. “So you got the house.”
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