|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
“The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $50 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $150. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $350. “Are there any questions?” At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, “Sir... How much for a season pass?” Illustration: Sandeep Joshi To his credit A businessman walks into
a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says
he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow
$5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security
for such a loan. So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls
Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks
out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the
loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank’s underground
garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the businessman returns,
repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan
officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and
this transaction has worked out very, nicely, but we are a little
puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you
are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to
borrow $5,000?" Complicated operation A politician awoke in a hospital bed after a complicated operation, and found that the curtains were drawn around him. "Why are the curtains closed," he said. "Is it night?" A nurse replied, "No, it is just that there is a fire across the street, and we didn’t want you waking up and thinking that the operation was unsuccessful." Reverse alarm A mother takes her 5 year old son with her to the bank on a busy Friday. They get into line behind a rather obese lady wearing a business outfit complete with a pager. As the mother waits patiently her son looks at the women in front of him and observes loudly, "Hey, Mom, she’s fat." At which the lady looks at the boy, makes eye contact with the mother and gives an understanding smile. The mother quietly reprimands her son. After a couple of minutes the boy states loudly, "Look how the fat hangs over her belt." The lady turns and tells the mother to control her rude child and the mother threatens him with his very life and existence. Things in the bank are quiet. The lady gets to the front of the line when her pager begins to emit its distinctive tone at which the little boy yells in panic at the top of his voice, "Run for your life, mom, she’s backing up!!!!"
|
||
|
|
||
Seasoned students 