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Bald beauty
“Hey, what’s up with you?”, he asked. “Oh, it’s my wife,” replied the man sadly. “She’s hired a new secretary for me.” “Well, nothing wrong in that,” he said, “Is she blonde or brunette?” “Neither. He’s bald.” Daddy queue A group of expectant fathers sat nervously in the hall. A nurse beckoned to one of them and said, “Congratulations, you have a son!” Another man dropped his magazine, jumped up and said, “Hey, what’s the idea? I got here two hours before he did!” Spouse in a hole The husband and wife were playing golf on the ninth green when she collapsed from a heart attack. “Please dear, I need help.” she said. The husband ran off saying “I’ll go get some help.” A little while later he returned, picked up his club and began to line up his shot on the green. His wife, on the ground, raised up her head and said, “I may be dying and you’re putting?” “Don’t worry, dear. I found a doctor on the second hole. He said he will come and help you.” “The second hole? When in the world is he coming?” “I told you not to worry,” he said, practice stroking his putt .....”Everyone’s already agreed to let him play through.” “Look at ME!” boasted the fit, old man to a group of young people. “Every morning I do 50 push-ups, 50 sit-ups and walk two miles. I’m fit as a fiddle! Because I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t stay up late, and I don’t chase after women!” He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes glittering, “And tomorrow, I’m going to celebrate my 95th birthday!” “Oh, really?” drawled one of the young onlookers, “How?” Technodaft John: “Do you know anything about this fax-machine?” Sylvia: “A little. What’s wrong?” John: “Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened.” Sylvia: “How did you load the sheet?” John: “It’s a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn’t want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient would open it and read it.” A new minister was talking to the oldest member of his congregation. “I am 90 years old, sir, and I haven’t an enemy in the world,” said the aged one. “That is a beautiful thought,” said the clergyman approvingly. “Yes sir,” was the answer. “I’m thankful to say that I’ve outlived them all.” A college student who had run out of funds sent an SMS to his father: No money. Not funny. Love, Sunny. His father wrote back: So sad. Too bad. Love, Dad
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A guy walked into his friend’s office. He found his friend sitting at his desk, looking very depressed.
