Past that binds and heals
Reviewed by Priyanka Singh


Six Metres of Pavement
By Farzana Doctor.
Rupa. Pages 370. Rs 295

An unforgiving past has a way of catching up. It wrecks the present, pervading each moment of 'now', sneaking in on a happy moment and battering it of any future hope. Is there redemption for a father careless enough to forget his 18-month-old child in the back seat of his blistering car?

Riding on guilt and forever grieving, Ismail Boxwala, alive but lifeless, can't let go of the image of his little girl gasping for breath, her tender skin searing in the car-oven until she loses consciousness, finding sweet relief only in death. An agonising death delivered by her own father. Wistful, he longs to "cuddle her in his lap, kiss her sweet-smelling head, and, in the vast wisdom of all things celestial, switch places with her".

Farzana, a social worker-cum-educator and winner of Lambda Literary Award, sets the pace of the narrative at the outset. The effortless fluidity of its tempo moves smoothly between characters and events that bring them together for their healing to begin. The characters are very well delineated, so much so that you are one with the broken father, pompous brother, lesbians Fatima and Daphne, unbending conservative parents and Celia, a widow in mourning.

The ghoulish memories of his negligence are persistent, making it impossible for him to embrace life or find any joy in it. Ismail and his wife grow apart and a divorce quickly follows the death of their child. The cross of a failed father and husband is for him to lug as he strives to "stay in motion" and connect with his brother and, sometimes, the random wantons he meets at a drinking joint, his haunt since the tragedy. Binging offers him imaginary comfort, enough to tarry him through the day, but forsaking him in the confines of his gloomy home, where he's struck by the past with full force. The curse of his solitary existence.

But there's hope. Chaos and the resultant upheaval cannot be everlasting. Life has a way of quietly healing and stimulating self-renewal. The past can shack up with the present, if not wholly overcome, and with time and steadfast support, as Ismail discovers, it can dull the heartache.

Two decades of self-loathing and suffering give way to love and some measure of acceptance and forgiveness. His effort to cover the six metres of pavement separating Celia and him is the first sign of healing. He makes peace with his past and life comes a full circle. The young and defiant Fatima and the widow Celia enter his life, each lending to the healing process - of Ismail and their own. With them, the similitude of his home, with his little girl and wife, is complete.

The book is meant for lazy summer afternoons — not to be put down until the last page has been devoured.





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