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After the engineers had gone, one manager turns to another and laughs. "Isn’t that just like engineers? We’re looking for the height and they give us the length." Perfect shot At a golf course, four men approached the sixteenth tee. The straight fairway ran along a road and bike path fenced off on the left. The first golfer teed off and hooked the ball in that direction. The ball went over the fence and bounced off the bike path onto the road, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and was knocked back on to the fairway. As they all stood in amazement, one man asked him, "How on earth did you do that?" Without hesitation, he said, "You have to know the bus timetable." Great act A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counselling came up. "Oh, we’ll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theatre arts. He communicates real well and I just act like I’m listening." Ghostly tours A young American tourist goes on a guided tour of a creepy old European castle. At the end of the tour, the guide asks her how she enjoyed it. She admits to being a bit worried about seeing a ghost in some of the dark cobwebby rooms and passages. "Don’t worry" says the guide, "I’ve never seen a ghost all the time I’ve been here." "How long is that?" asks the girl. "About three hundred years......." Handful A man writing at the post office desk was approached by an older fellow with a post card in his hand. The old man said, "Sir, I’m sorry to bother you but could you address this post card for me? My arthritis is acting up today and I can’t even hold a pen." "Certainly sir," said the younger man, "I’d be glad to." He wrote out the address and also agreed to write a short message and sign the card for the man. Finally, the younger man asked, "Now, is there anything else I can do for you?"The old fellow thought about it for a moment and said, "Yes, at the end could you just add, ‘PS: Please excuse the sloppy handwriting.’!"
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A
group of managers were given the assignment to measure the height of a
flagpole. So they go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape
measures, and they’re falling off the ladders, dropping the tape
measures — the whole thing is just a mess. A group of engineers
arrive and see what the managers are trying to do. They walk over to
the flagpole, pull it out of the ground and lay it flat on the ground.
They measure it from end to end, give the measurement to one of the
managers, and then walk away.