Webside humour
Bitter pill
Sunil Sharma

"I’m prescribing these 100 pills for you," said the doctor to the overweight patient, who tipped the scales at about three hundred pounds. "I don’t want you to swallow them. Just spill them all on the floor twice a day and pick them up, one at a time...."

Generation gap

During one "generation-gap" quarrel with his parents, young Michael cried, "I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I’ll never find it here at home, so I’m leaving. Don’t try and stop me!" With that, he headed toward the door. His father rose and followed close behind.

"Didn’t you hear what I said? I don’t want you to try and stop me."

"Who’s trying to stop you?" replied his father. "If you wait a minute, I’ll go with you."

Flowery tale

A man went to the flower shop and asked for potted geraniums.

"I’m sorry," said the clerk in flower shop, "we don’t have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets instead?"

Replied the customer sadly, "No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone."

Get well soon

A retired man, who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals, went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients’ bedsides. When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better."

One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too."

Ticketing tales

A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn’t told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn’t come off easily. Written in large black letters was the sentence.

‘Get well quick ..... from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week."

Power of trust

While ferrying workers back and forth from our offshore oil rig, the helicopter I was on lost power and went down. Fortunately, it landed safely in the lake. Struggling to get out, one man tore off his seat belt, inflated his life vest, and jerked open the exit door. "Don’t jump!" the pilot yelled. "This thing is supposed to float!" As the man leapt from the helicopter into the lake, he yelled back, "Yeah, and it’s supposed to FLY too!"

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