WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Sunil Sharma

Wave and fall

Illustration: Sandeep Joshi

A husband and wife went to the fairgrounds. The wife wanted to go on the ferris wheel, but the husband wasn’t comfortable with that. So the wife went on the ride by herself.

The wheel went round and round and suddenly the wife was thrown out and landed in a heap at her husband’s feet.

“Are you hurt?” he asked.

“Of course, I’m hurt!” she yelled. “Three times around and you didn’t wave once!”

Testing times

During the final exam, the professor noticed that one student kept looking at his hand before writing down an answer on his test. This went on throughout the entire exam, leaving the professor no other choice than to check on the student’s test-taking habit.

“Is there something interesting written on your palm?”

“Not at all, Professor. It’s all pretty boring.”

Chic impressions 

To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chick Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and studied it with an appraising eye. “We’ll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci,” he said finally. 
“Sorry, sir,” said the waiter. “That’s the owner.”

Flowery tales

“I’m sorry,” said the clerk in flower shop, “we don't have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets instead?”

Replied the customer sadly, “No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone.”

Mommy vs hubby

The new bride went crying to her mother. “Momma, I can’t get my husband to do anything. I want him to fix up the house, but he keeps putting it off.”

“Honey,” her mother replied, “after being married to your father for thirty-eight years, I’ve found the only way to get him to do anything is to tell him he’s too old.”

Chequered

The rich aunt was disappointed and said to her nephew, “I’m sorry you don’t like your gift. I asked you if you preferred a large check or a small check.”

“I know, Auntie,” the nephew said contritely, “but I didn’t know you were talking about neckties.”

Till death do us part

A couple were being interviewed by a local reporter on their golden wedding anniversary. "In all that time, did you ever consider a divorce?"

"Oh, no, not divorce, we're too old fashioned for that," one said. "Murder sometimes, but never divorce."

Robbed of senses

One night, Tim was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Tim and the thief began to wrestle. Tim put up a tremendous fight. However, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned Tim to the ground. When the thief went through Tim's pockets all he could find on Tim was 25 cents. He was surprised and asked Tim why he had bothered to fight so hard for 25 cents.

"Was that all you wanted?" Tim replied, "I thought you were after the five hundred dollars I've got in my shoe!"





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