Society
Men as victims of domestic violence
Abuse at home is perceived in gender-specific terms in India and only women are seen as victims. Men who complain of being attacked at home or harassed by their wives are often ignored and discriminated against by police who believe that women are the real victims
Nivedita Ganguli

Sandeep Joshi

The Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005, was enacted to shield married women from being abused in the confines of their homes. But it is increasingly being used by devious women with extortionist tendencies to torment their husbands and in-laws, claim members of Save Indian Family (www.saveindianfamily.org).

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and, while the media goes on an overdrive bringing to light the problems of abused wives, husbands who have been hounded out of their homes by the misuse of the Domestic Violence Act are largely ignored. Nandan*, a member of Save Indian Family (SIF) - a pro-family organisation, had an arranged marriage in New Delhi in 1997. The marriage was unhappy from the beginning as his wife would constantly say that she would file a false case under Sec 498A IPC (anti-dowry law) against him.

Years of verbal and physical abuse followed. In 2005, his wife threw his mother out of her own house. Now, he and his mother live in rented accommodation, while he fights criminal cases filed against him by his spouse. Kumar Jahgirdar, a member of the Bangalore chapter of SIF, says: "The Domestic Violence Act is totally biased in favour of the wife. This Act considers husbands as violent and perpetrators of violence in the household. We demand that the Act be made gender-neutral so that harassed husbands can also use this Act. Nowadays, especially in cities, wives torture their spouses and in-laws mentally and physically. Elderly in-laws have no protection under this Act which has become a tool for the extortion of money from husbands and in-laws. It needs immediate amendment in Parliament for the sake of justice and equity."

Virag Dhulia, a men's rights activist from Bangalore, says men generally do not report the torture they suffer at the hands of their wives because it is considered unmanly to do so. Moreover, society makes fun of such men. Even when men approach the police after being brutally attacked by their wives, the police gives them lectures on why they should continue to stay with their wives. Many cases have come to light where the man committed suicide because the police forced him to stay with his abusive wife or else they threatened to arrest the man, adds Virag.

Fearing arrest and continued torture from their wives, such men prefer to commit suicide.The Indian judiciary does not inspire any confidence in such men, feels the activist. It takes years to decide cases and at the end of it all, judges often opt not to grant divorce to a man who approaches the court with evidence of torture against him by his wife. "And not only that, during the legal process the judiciary perpetrates injustice on the man by allowing false cases to be registered against him and forcing him to maintain his abusive and demanding wife," rues Virag.

The story of Kamal Rathore* of Haryana is particularly pathetic as he lost his son amid the troubles created by his estranged daughter-in-law. His son, who got married in 2000, was charged under Sec 498A IPC and Sec 307 IPC (attempt to murder), along with four other family members. The Rathore family managed to secure bail with great difficulty and were finally acquitted, after years of struggle, in the Sec 307 and Sec 498A cases. The daughter-in-law, meanwhile, decided to reunite with her husband. Unfortunately, Mr Rathore's son was diagnosed with cancer soon afterwards and she left, taking her son with her. The following two years were very difficult as Mr Rathore fought hard to save his son. His daughter-in-law never called or visited her husband and nor did she allow his grandson to meet his father. Mr Rathore's son finally succumbed to his illness in 2007.

After a fortnight, the daughter-in-law turned up and started demanding money from her in-laws. She filed a case under the Domestic Violence Act, asking for maintenance from her retired father-in-law though she was earning Rs 20,000 per month working as a teacher. The ordeal of the Rathores, who still haven't come to terms with the untimely death of their son, shows no signs of ending. Domestic abuse against a man is just as abhorrent as when a woman is the victim. The misuse of the Domestic Violence Act needs to be curbed immediately, says Virag. The million-dollar question is when will the Indian government wake up and ensure justice for all, irrespective of gender.* — (Names changed to protect identities.)

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