Webside HUMOUR

Mental case

A motorist had a flat tire in front of a mental asylum. He took the wheel off, but when he stood up he tipped over the hubcap containing the bolts, spilling them all down a sewer drain. A patient, looking through the fence, suggested that the man take one bolt from the remaining three wheels to hold the fourth wheel in place until he could get to a service station. The motorist thanked his profusely and said, “I don’t know why you are in that place.” The patient said, “I’m here for being crazy, not for being stupid.”

Need a lift

An American visiting England asked at the hotel for the elevator.
The portiere (doorman) looked a bit confused but smiled when he realised what the man wanted.
“You must mean the lift,” he said.
“No,” the American responded. “If I ask for the elevator, I mean the elevator.”
“Well,” the portiere answered, “over here, we call them lifts”.
“Now you listen”, the American said rather irritated, “someone in America invented the elevator.”
“Oh, right you are sir,” the portiere said in a polite tone, “but someone here in England invented the language”.

Doctor’s order

Doctor: I see you’re over a month late for your appointment. Don’t you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What’s your excuse?
Patient: I was just following your orders. You told me to avoid people who irritate me. 

Compiled by Sunil Sharma

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