|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Deadly Mistake
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this...somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, ‘Congratulations on your new location." Half fee When the wealthy businessman choked on a fish bone at a restaurant, he was fortunate that a doctor was seated at a nearby table. Springing up, the doctor skilfully removed the bone and saved the man’s life. As soon as the fellow had calmed himself and could talk again, he thanked the surgeon enthusiastically and offered to pay him for his services. "Just name the fee," he croaked gratefully. "Okay," replied the doctor. "How about half of what you’d have offered when the bone was still stuck in your throat? Lunch break The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes, the teacher asked, "Suppose I ask you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude?" After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you’d be eating alone." Doctor’s order Doctor: "I see you’re over a month late for your appointment. Don’t you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What’s your excuse?" Patient: "I was just following your orders. You told me to avoid people who irritate me." Dog’s licence During a countywide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to pull over to the curb. When the driver asked why he had been stopped, the officer pointed to the big dog sitting on the seat beside him and asked, "Does your dog have a license?" "No," the man said, "He doesn’t need one." "Yes, he does," answered the officer. "But," said the driver, "I always do all the driving." A rose check The young man at the flower shop was taking an unusually long time to place his order. When the clerk asked how she could help, he explained that his girlfriend was turning 19 and he couldn’t decide whether to give her a dozen roses or 19 roses — one for each year of her life. The woman put aside her business judgment and advised, "She may be your 19-year-old girlfriend now but someday she could be your 50-year-old wife." The young man bought a dozen roses. — Compiled by Sunil Sharma
|
||
|
|
||
A new business was
opening and one of the owner’s friends wanted to send him flowers
for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner
read the card, "Rest in Peace."