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A professional juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are you doing with these matches and lighter fluid in your car?" asks the police officer. "I’m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act." "Oh, yeah? Let’s see you do it," says the officer. So the juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches masterfully. A couple driving by slows down to watch. "Wow," says the driver to his wife. "I’m glad, I quit drinking. Look at the test they’re giving now !" Relative matter A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "In-laws." Quarter crisis A mother gave her son two quarters. One was for his Sunday School offering. The other was for an ice-cream cone on the way home from Sunday School. The boy was flipping one quarter in the air and catching it on the way down. This happened eight times or so when all of a sudden the quarter was flipped into the air, but the boy missed catching it. It rolled down the storm sewer and was gone. He looked skyward and prayed, "Sorry God. That was your quarter." tough fight One night, Tim was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Tim and the thief began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground and Tim put up a tremendous fight. However, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned him to the ground. The thief then went through Tim’s pockets and searched him. All the thief could find on Tim was 25 cents. The thief was so surprised at this that he asked Tim why he had bothered to fight so hard for a 25 cents. "Was that all you wanted?" Tim replied, "I thought you were after the $500 I’ve got in my shoe!" Prayers accepted A young man, living away from home, writes to his parents: "Dear Dad, I feel miserable because I always have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy to have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my body rebels. I beg on bended knee that you forgive me. Your son, Marvin. P.S. I felt so terrible I ran after the mailman who picked this up in the box at the corner. I wanted to take this letter and burn it. I prayed that I could get it back. But it was too late. A few days later he received a letter from his father. It said: Dear Son, Your prayers were answered. Your letter never came." Thank God A hat was passed around a church congregation to take up an offering for the visiting minister. Presently it was returned to him...embarrassingly empty. Slowly the parson inverted the hat and shook it meaningfully. Then raising his eyes heavenward, he exclaimed, "I thank you, Lord, that I got my hat back from this congregation." — Compiled by Sunil Sharma
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