Webside HUMOUR

Penguins

A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says, "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately." The guy obliges and drives away.

The next day, the officer sees the same guy driving around with the truck full of penguins

again. This time, though, all the penguins are wearing sunglasses. The police officer pulls the guy over and says, "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?"

The guy replies, "I did what you said and we had a great time! Thanks! Today I'm taking them to the beach."

Magic car

A mother gave her teenage daughter a car for her 16th birthday.

As she handed over the keys, she explained that it was a magic car.

The girl, of course, was very excited, and asked what it did.

"Well," said mom, "Just get one ticket, and you'll see how quickly it

will disappear."

Village life

Having born and brought-up in New York City, a man barely knew anything about the village life until he was married to a small-town Ohio girl. Once in a seminary school, he had a temporary assignment at a church in a rural community. The day of his first sermon, he tried very hard to fit in. Maybe, too hard. With his wife sitting in the first row, he began his discourse, "I had never seen a cow until I met my wife."

Vegetative state

A man and his wife are sitting in the living room, and he says to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state dependent on some machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

"Ok," says his wife as she gets up and unplugs the TV.

Political power

Two political candidates were having a hot debate. Finally, one of them jumped up and yelled at the other, "What about the powerful interest that controls you?"

And the other guy screamed back, "You leave my wife out of this."

Taking a decision

A group of junior-level executives were participating in a management training program. The seminar leader pounded home his point about the need to make decisions and take action on these decisions.

"For instance," he said, "if you had five frogs on a log and three of them decided to jump, how many frogs would you have left on the log?"

The answers from the group were unanimous: "Two."

"Wrong," replied the speaker, "there would still be five because there is a difference between deciding to jump and jumping."

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