ULTA PULTA
Way to die
Jaspal Bhatti 

Oye Paley, I want to commit suicide," said Bala on a serious note. Pala laughed, "Thank God! You’ve finally decided to do something sensible. And besides it’s a great social cause. Because the food you eat could actually feed four hungry mouths!"

Bala was livid. "I’m talking about ending my life and you’re having fun at my expense?" Pala apologised and said, "Ok, let’s get serious. Let’s make a budget of your suicide. So, tell me first of all how do you want to commit suicide?" "I want to die a valiant death in front of at least 5,000 people. And I want extensive press and TV coverage," replied Bala .

"That’s not a problem," said Pala. "We’ll call a press conference before the suicide and shower the presswallahs with expensive gifts like packs of 2-kg vegetables or 3-kg pulses."

Bala was worried. "Will the crowds come?" Pala said, "Of course, don’t worry about that. For Rs 100 per person, it’ll take Rs 5 lakh to get the crowd. But tell me do you want kerosene or petrol sprinkled on yourself?" Bala said, "Petrol would be fine!" Pala was shocked, "But then you can’t tell people that you’re committing suicide because of extreme poverty". "Why?" asked Bala." Because then people will say that anybody who can afford petrol cannot be poor!" Pala replied.

HOME