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A man was about to step out of his home when suddenly a divine voice warned him 'Stop, a brick is about to fall'. And sure enough, a huge brick fell just in front of him. Relieved, he left for his office but as he was about to step on the road, the same voice warned again: 'Stop, or you will be killed by a speeding bus' and he again had a narrow escape as a speeding bus zoomed past missing him from the inches. With heart pounding very fast, he looked up and said: "Who are you"?
"I'm your guardian angel," came the voice. With clenched fists he retorted "And where the hell you have been when I was about to get married?" Protection from men A female truck driver decided to buy herself a big dog for protection while she was on the road. She went to the local animal shelter and asked about a particularly large and fierce-looking dog and the attendant told her, "He doesn't like men." Perfect, she thought, and so she bought him. Later that week, she was in a dark parking lot and two big, rough looking men started walking toward her. Sure enough, as the attendant at the animal shelter had told her, the dog didn't like men. He promptly ran and cowered under the nearest car. Model husband Bill heard his wife remark to her friend that he was a model husband. He was very proud and happy that his wife would say that. But then, he looked the word up and found that the dictionary defines model as meaning a small imitation of the real thing. Password follies A new employee calls the helpdesk to complain that there's something wrong with her password. "The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," she says. "Those asterisks are to protect you," the helpdesk technician explains, "so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password." "Yeah," she says, "but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me." A lawyer's bill A lawyer sent an overdue bill notice to a client who had fired him. A note was attached that stated: "This bill is one year old!" By return mail the lawyer got his bill back. To it was attached a card which read: "Happy Birthday!" Lost case A customer, while shopping, inadvertently left his cell phone in the convenience store. The salesman scrolled through his saved numbers, stopped at "Mom" and pushed send. His mother answered, and he told her what happened. "Don't worry," she said, "I'll take care of it." A few minutes later, the cell phone rang. It was "Mom." "Martin," she said, "you left your cell at the convenience store." — Compiled by Sunil Sharma
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