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"Mom, what’s this?" he asked. "Oh, I put that up there to remind me not to overeat," she answered. "Is it working?" he asked. "Yes and no," she explained. "I’ve lost five pounds, but your dad has gained 20!" The shopping man "You just go ahead," the man in the shopping mall said to his wife. "While you’re shopping, I’ll browse in the hardware store." An hour later, she returned and saw him at the checkout counter. The clerk was ringing up the last of a pile of tools and supplies that would fill two wheelbarrows. "Are you buying all this?" his wife asked incredulously. "Well, yes," he said, embarrassed. Then, waving his arm towards the interior of the store, he added, "But look at all the stuff I’m leaving behind!" Wrong person Once a blonde was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train Rs 20 to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for Rs 20, the blonde deserved more service. So, when the blonde fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the blonde was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. "What’s the matter?" says his wife. He replied, "The cheat on the train has taken my Rs 20 and woken up someone else". No match The widow lay crying on her psychiatrist’s couch. "We were married for 25 years before he died," she said, dabbing away a tear. "Never had an argument in all those years." "Amazing," said the doctor. "How did you do it?" "Simple", she replied, "I outweighed him by 40 pounds and he was a coward." Never got caught The priest was instructing a class of third-graders at All Saints grammar school. "There were two brothers, and one of them chose the wicked path of Satan. The brother was evil and corrupt and did great damage to many people, and wound up a convicted criminal. "But the other brother studied hard and became a successful, knowledgeable lawyer. "Now, children, what is the difference between these two brothers, who both started out in the same place?" Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Easy. One of them never got caught." — Compiled by Sunil Sharma
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A mother asked her young
son to set the table for dinner. He opened the refrigerator and taped
to the inside of the door was a risqué picture of a lovely, slender,
perfectly built, but scantily clad young woman.