WEBSIDE HUMOUR

It’s a dog’s life

A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing-eye
dog. They come to a busy intersection and the dog ignores the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street, leading the blind man right out into the thick of traffic. The screech of tyres and horns can be heard blaring, as panicked drivers try to desperately avoid running the pair down. The blind man and the dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other side of the street. Then, the blind man takes a cookie out of his coat pocket and offers it to the dog.

A passerby, who had observed the near fatal incident, says to the blind man in amazement, "Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed."

The blind man turns partially in the passerby’s direction and replies, "I’m trying to find out where the mutt’s head is, so I can kick his butt."

Date trap

A customer wanted to ask an attractive waitress for a date, but couldn’t get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally, he followed her into the kitchen and blurted out his invitation. To his amazement, she readily consented.

He said, "Why have you been avoiding me all this time? You wouldn’t even make eye contact."

"Oh," said the waitress, "I thought you wanted more coffee."

Money matters

Late one night in Washington, a mugger wearing a ski-mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.

"Give me your money!" he demanded.

Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can’t do this. I’m a United States Congressman."

"In that case," replied the robber, "give me my money!"

Anger control

A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children, and even at our dogs, and nobody dares answer her."

One of his friends asked "And when you are angry, what do you do?"

The man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dare to answer back.

Being generous

"I was in a very generous mood today," a woman says to her friend.

"I gave a poor beggar $25."

"Thats a lot of money to give away," says her friend. "What did your husband say?"

"He said, ‘Thank you’.

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma

HOME