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Webside
HUMOUR A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, “Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you.” “I know” said the man, “but I can’t. My wife refuses to sleep alone.”
Although this married couple enjoyed their luxury fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake, he said to his wife, “Please take the wheel, dear. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore.” So she drove the boat to shore. Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching television. She sat down next to him, changed the TV channel, and said to him, “Please go into the kitchen, dear. Pretend I’m having a heart attack. You must set the table, cook the dinner, and wash the dishes.”
An Indian living in Westmead, Australia, suffered a heart attack in front of a restaurant and was picked up by an ambulance. Being religious and thinking his end is near, he kept repeating, “Hari Om Hari Om Hari Om”. When the ambulance pulled into his home, instead of the hospital, his wife came out and screamed to the paramedics, “Why didn’t you take him straight to the hospital?” They replied because he kept saying, “Hurry home, Hurry home, Hurry home.”
A Sunday school teacher asked her class, “What was Jesus’ mother’s name?” One child answered, “Mary.” The teacher then asked, “Who knows what Jesus’ father’s name was?” A little kid said, “The Verge.” Confused, the teacher asked, “Where did you get that?” The kid said, “Well, you know they are always talking about The Verge ’n’ Mary.”
A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, explodes one day in mid-session and begins to shout, “Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!” All the other Senators plead to the angry member that he withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session. After a long pause, the angry member accepted. “Ok” he said, “I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!” — Compiled by Sunil Sharma
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