Age no bar

Drinking among youngsters is fast becoming a trend. What is really alarming is that it is rapidly becoming an acceptable one. surprisingly, even some parents are dismissing it with nonchalance, writes Aradhika Sharma

you may not know the names of top brands of liquor, but you may be sure that your 17-year-old-son does. It is also quite possible that he knows which brand costs how much and how many glasses of wine may be gotten out of a bottle; what’s the latest flavour of ‘Breezers’ in the market and what’s the newest offering from Smirnoff. Drinking among youngsters is fast becoming a trend. What is really alarming is that it is rapidly becoming an acceptable one. Of course, the peer group of the teenager welcomes the wannabe party animal with hearty ‘cheers!’ but surprisingly even parents are accepting it with a shrug. Not just that, they are actually arranging parties where booze flows freely. Age is no bar…the bar is open! 

Now, why in the world would a parent allow his/ her underage son or daughter to have drinks, and even serve alcohol at teenage parties? Is this the changing face of the urban youngster and parents, where rules of drinking are flouted much so that parents provide the booze for the youngsters to make their parties roaring successes? Shocking though it appears, it seems like a common enough occurrence nowadays.

Actor Imran Khan maybe going to town, trying to get the government lower the legal age limit of drinking from 25 years to 18 years, but we have news for him. Children, who want to drink, are doing it without waiting for it to get legal. As for their custodians and guardians, while some are actively providing the booze, others stand by and watch helplessly, as their teens casually get a drink or two or more, because if they refuse, they fear rejection or ostracism of their wards by the peers of their children.

Let’s look at how parents are dealing with the issue: 

‘Why follow the herd’
Manreet and Jagdish Ghumman, their sons

ALL, however, is not bleak. There are parents like Manreet and Jagdish Ghumman, who are firm about children not being allowed to drink. Jagdish runs a successful web portal, and Manreet is an advertising professional. Both are party people. They have two boys, both of whom are allowed to attend parties. The elder one has been pouring drinks for his dad since he was 12. But Jagdish declares, “If I smell even a hint of alcohol on my son, and believe me, I will, I’ll take my belt to him.” His wife Manreet concurs: “If my sons have to depend on drinking with their friends to get a sense of achievement and belongingness, then they’d better sit at home with us. What’s the point of being good sportsmen and good at academics and extracurricular activities if the boys have to drink to show how cool they are?”

All responsible parents would like to agree with Manreet. That would be best for our children, wouldn’t it?

‘I’ll be ostracised’
Davinder and Soni and their son, Amarjit

While Soni works part time in a private hospital as a physiotherapist, Davinder is employed at a university in the region. They’ve brought up their son with plenty of love, giving him space to do his own thing, but monitoring him carefully. Soni has been trying to keep him on the straight and the narrow, path, defining rules clearly. Davinder has also tried to be available to his son far as possible, taking him on photography trips, camping outings and playing his favourite sport, hockey with him. In short, they’ve been as perfect parents as can be, thinking that their son pretty much understood the rules and parameters they’d set for him and was happy to function within those.

Incidentally, while Soni may have an occasional drink, Davinder is a teetotaller and they do not serve alcohol at home. So, Davinder was horrified when he first smelt alcohol on the breath of his 16-year-old son. They had gone to pick him up from his friend’s home, where he had been invited to a birthday party celebration.

“What have you been drinking, Amarjit?”

The boy was not in a mood to tell to begin with, but when his parents continued to question, he admitted having had a bottle of beer.

“But where did you get beer from? Weren’t Anuj’s parents there?” asked Soni. 

“No, they weren’t there mom, but there was plenty of beer in the fridge. I mean his parents had got it for everyone — they are pretty cool that way.” 

Soni and Davinder were horrified. “I’m going to call up other parents and ask Anuj’s parents whatever they were thinking of. The boy has just turned 16, and they’re serving liquor to the kids? How terrible!” 

“Mom! Dad! Please! Don’t do that, please!” Amarjit was on the verge of tears.

“Why? These people are supposed to be responsible adults. That’s why we sent you to Anuj’s birthday party, Amarjit. They need to be told just how careless they’ve been. There are other people’s children involved after all.”

“And why are you feeling so bad about it anyway?’ asked the father “Because dad, all it will do is make my friends ostracise me. I’ll never be asked for any party again,” said Amarjit in a low voice. Soni and Davinder were silent. This was a catch-22 situation. They knew what it meant for a child to be eliminated from his group of friends.

They’ve now put a limit of ‘just one beer’ on their son, and he says that he will obey it, but who is keeping tabs and at a party, who is to know if one beer will leads to another or not?

‘But everyone was drinking, dad!’
Ravi, Ritu and their son, Gagan

Ravi runs a business overseas, and Ritu is a homemaker. Their son Gagan, a Class IX student, came home from his boarding school for winter vacations. Gagan was invited for a party at the local discotheque, one Sunday afternoon. It was meant to be a gathering of children who had come home from boarding school. When Gagan returned from the party, he went straight into his room. This was unusual, because usually, he would come rushing to his parents and regale them with stories of what he had been up to. His parents called out to him. 

“Gagan how was the party? Did you have a good time?”

“Yes, mom. But I’m tired now. I’m going to bed.”

Ritu was worried. Normally, Gagan didn’t go to bed until late during his vacations. He must not be well. Or maybe he he’d had a fight with someone? She went into his room. Gagan was in bed and on seeing her he ducked inside the quilt.

“Let me feel your forehead, Gagan, I hope you don’t have fever” 

“No, mom, I’m fine. I’m just sleepy.”

Ritu pulled the quilt from over her son’s face. He looked flushed. All at once she caught on.

“Gagan, have you been drinking?” She demanded Ravi was summoned and they both questioned their son. It transpired that liquor was being served at the party. At first, it was just the seniors who were having it, but soon enough in the spirit of bravado, the younger ones joined in, too.

“But why did you drink, Gagan? You know you are absolutely not allowed to do so?”

Gagan stood mute and tearful, “Speak up boy! Why did you have liquor?” Ravi asked his son kindly. “Did you even like it?” “No, I didn’t. It was bitter. But what could I do? Everyone was drinking dad!”

‘Black label, what else?’ 
Raveena, Anand and their son Karan

“I’m thinking of what to on for Karan’s 18th birthday. Shall I book a disco or shall I have a party at home?’ Raveena wondered. She was planning a big coming-of-age party for her only son, a student of Class XII.

“We are still in a quandary about the menu, the venue and the theme. There’s only one thing that’s for sure and that’s the liquor we are going to serve.” “Which is…?” her friend asked “Black Label, what else?”

‘No booze; no party!’
Vicky, Vineeta and their daughter Vandana

Seventeen-year-old Vandana wanted to have a New Years’ party at home for her friends. Her parents were all for it. Vandana was excited. This was to be her first grown up dance party at home! She and her parents planned the menu, arranged for a popular DJ, and Vandana bought a new dress and accessories for her party. The guest list numbered 50 excited boys and girls, all eager to dance the night away.

Vicky and Vineeta had agreed that they would leave the children alone and go out. However, they did set some rules — “No booze to enter the house and no hanky-panky please. We’ll be back soon after midnight, OK? You need to make the rules clear to your friends before the party because if there’s any breaking of the rules, we’ll be here to break up the party. Understood?”

Vineeta understood but when the news of the ‘rules’ went around, the guests started dropping out, making excuses not to come. Vineeta was upset and she asked her close friends about it. “What’s happening? Everyone had said ‘yes’, so now why are they dropping out?”

One of her friends spoke up: “Actually, most people feel that without booze, the party doesn’t take off. It’s no fun. Basically, no booze; no party!”

Vineeta called off her party and went to her friend’s on New Year’s Eve party. Were they serving drinks there? Your guess is as good as mine!