Webside HUMOUR
Scared driver

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.

The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!”

The passenger apologised and said, “I didn’t realise that a little tap would scare you so much.”

The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years.

Baaaad sheep

A flock of sheep are grazing in a field, happily going “baa baa” to each other and discussing life as usual when suddenly they hear a “moo mooooooooo moooooooooo!”

They look around and see only sheep. They carry on grazing as before.

“Moooooo mooooooooooo mmmoo!”

One sheep can hear it all too clearly next to him. He shuffles away a little from his friend, a worried look on his face and then asks, “George, why are you mooing. You’re a sheep. Sheep go ‘baa!’”

His friend replies gladly: “I know, I thought I would learn a foreign language.”

Devoted husband

A wife, one evening, drew her husband’s attention to the couple next door and said, “Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don’t you do that?”

“I would love to,” replied the husband. “But I don’t know her well enough.”

The scales

Two children went into their parent’s bathroom and noticed the scales in the corner.

“Whatever you do,” cautioned one child to the younger one, “don’t step on it!”

“Why not?” asked the sibling.

“Because every time mom does, she lets out an awful scream!”

Compiled by Sunil Sharma