Webside HUMOUR
ABC of beauty

After being married for 30 years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her slowly... Then said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H.... Ummmm... I, J, K.”

She asks, “What does that mean darling?”

He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fabulous, Gorgeous, Hot.”

She smiled happily and said, “Oh, that’s so lovely…What about I, J, K?”

He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”

His eye is still swollen.

Forgive and forget

Early in their marriage, my dad did something really stupid. My mom chewed him out for it. He apologised and they made up. Over the years, my mom, from time to time, would mention what he had done.

“Honey,” my father finally said one day, “Why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was ‘forgive and forget’.”

“It is,” she answered. “I just don’t want you to forget what I have forgiven and forgotten.”

Shopping spree

A man was sitting next to me in one of the two “husband chairs” in a ladies’ clothing store. After 30 minutes and five outfits, the fellow’s wife came out of the changing room again.

He looked at her and immediately said, “That looks good on you. Get that one.”

“Honey,” she replied, “this is what I was wearing when we came in.”

The present

Tom had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present.

“Who is the most obedient?” he asked. “Who never talks back to mother?

“Who does everything she says?”

Five small voices answered in unison.” Okay, Dad, you get the toy.”

Bad boy

Son: “Mom, What’s a girlfriend?”

Mom: “If you’re a good boy, you’ll get one when you’re older.”

Son: “What if I’m not a good boy?”

Mom: “You’ll get many.”

Compiled by Sunil Sharma