Webside HUMOUR
Perfect hearing

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to a doctor and the doctor fitted him with a hearing aid that allowed him to hear 100 per cent. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor who said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to their conversation. I’ve changed my will three times!"

Wedding loan

Santa bought a new car on loan. He didn’t pay the dues. The bank took away his car.

Santa: "If I knew this, I’d have taken a loan for my marriage also".

"You looked troubled," a man told his friend, "what’s your problem?"

He replied: "I’m going to be a father."

"But that’s wonderful," "What’s problem in it?"

"The problem is my wife doesn’t know about it yet."

"That was nice of you to set up a blind date for your ex-boyfriend."

"I know, but I don’t hold any grudges."

"I’m surprised he trusted you enough to agree to go out with her."

"Well, I had to swear to him she’s Jennifer Lopez’s double."

"Wow! Is that true?"

"I wouldn’t lie. She’s twice her weight and twice her age."

A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.

"Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o’clock in the morning, and from my bed I call out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him.

"Cured him!" asked the woman, "but how". The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill."

When a married man says: "I’ll think about it", what he really means that, "He doesn’t know his wife’s opinion yet".

                                                                                                                                     Compiled by Sunil Sharma