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Webside HUMOUR
True lies
A man buys a
lie-detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides
to test it at dinner.
"Son,
where were you today?"
The son says,
"At school, dad". Robot slaps the son!
"OK, I
watched a DVD at my friend’s house", the son says.
"What
DVD?" asks the father.
"Toy
story", Robot slaps the son again!
"OK, it
was an adult movie", cries the son.
"What?
When I was your age I didn’t watch any adult movie" says
the father. Robot slaps the dad!
Mom laughs:
"Ha ha ha! He is certainly your son."
Robot slaps the
mom. Pin drop silence.
Poor joke
A famous
speaker said: "The best years of my life were spent in the
arms of a beautiful woman who wasn’t my wife!" The
audience was shocked.
The speaker
added: "That woman was my mother!" (Laughter and
applause)
A listener
tried it at home. He said loudly to his wife, "The greatest
years of my life were spent in the arms of a very beautiful
woman, who was not my wife!"
Standing there
for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke.
He finally
said, "`85 and I can’t remember who she was!" He
regained his consciousness in a hospital bed.
Missing car
A drunk walks
out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and
forth. A cop on the beat sees him and asks, "Can I help
you, Sir?"
"Yessh!
Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr", the man replies.
The cop asks,
"Where was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It wasss
on the end of thisshh key", the man replies.
Dark mistake
Teacher:
"Children in the dark make mistakes’. Convert this
sentence to opposite".
Student:
"Mistakes in the dark make children".
Last wish
From his death
bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month,
after I die I want you to marry Samy."
"Samy! But
he is your enemy!"
"Yes, I
know that! I’ve suffered all these years so let him suffer
now."
Compiled by Sunil
Sharma
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