Breaking free
Many women are liberating themselves from the demands of the family and work and are trying to find a life beyond the home. Nonika Singh checks out the emerging trend where women are pursuing individual passions and trying to find some “me-time” sans husbands and children

Once her home was her world. The she stepped out of the four walls into the professional realm and carved out a niche for herself. Caught between the demands of home, the pulls and pressures of a job, as she looked around a realisation hit her— work was no panacea either. Where was she as a person? Indeed, once again the individual in her was being forsaken. That in a nutshell, is the dilemma of modern woman, whose quest for excellence in her professional life and the desire to be the best homemaker has extracted a big price from her.

Guneeta Chadha (extreme right) was part of an all-women trip to Rajasthan

But not all women are willing to sacrifice the person that they are. So a growing tribe is consciously taking out the precious "me time" to nurture the individual within. From a simple activity such as walking for an hour, to taking off to Lisbon, to teeing off on the golf course, to participating in car rally from Shimla to Srinagar `85 more and more women are seeking and finding a life outside home and career.

Hema Bedi, a content writer, has even quit her nine-to-five job to meet her passions. Three days a week, for five hours at a stretch, she pursues golf with single-minded zeal. Every once a week, she goes for music classes, too. While her pursuits might be mere hobbies, even then she goes an extra mile to get better in her leisure activities.

Is this new-found way of life, assertion of yet another level of freedom? Well for Bedi, her family remains her top priority. Since her other half is not a golfer, she makes sure that she remains a weekday golfer so that the time spent with family is not compromised. Moreover, she asserts that she didn’t take up these pastimes because she felt stifled but simply because she felt passionate about them.

Alice Guram often takes off on a holiday to “meet the person within her”

Alice Guram, Ludhiana-based owner of a public relations and event management firm, who often takes off on a holiday to "meet the person within her" too, agrees, "Let’s not get feminism into it." But, at the same time, she does agree that it does connote a certain degree of freedom. She has even been watching movies sans her family. Guram adds, "It’s like telling yourself and the people around you that if you can’t accommodate your time schedule according to my needs, then, what the heck, I can do it on my own."

And guess what, men in their lives are approving whole-heartedly. Guneeta Chadha, associate professor and head of Department of Fine Arts, Government College for Girls, Chandigarh, was recently part of an all-women group of seven from Chandigarh, who decided to gift themselves a trip to Rajasthan. She shares, "Though initially my children didn’t take me seriously but once they realised mummy meant business they were more than happy. And not just mine, the husbands of all members had come to the railway station to say bye to their wives." She also asserts that the trip was not merely an exercise in self-indulgence but more a lesson in self- realisation.

Mumbai-based Piya Bose, who runs the Girls on the Go Club, shares that in the recent times, more than having a good time most women want to spend time with their selves as well. She feels this is something that never happens when the women are accompanied by families for "then, they are always role playing."

Bose asserts, "Only if women can connect to themselves, can they reach out to others."

Jasleen Bindra (name changed), who had recently gone for Raid de Himalaya, says, "Work becomes monotonous after a while. One needs to break free of the routine, and believe me, I came back recharged ready to invest more in my work as well as in my relationships. My husband, too, was suitably impressed and admired my strength." Is it a win-win situation for all around then?

Guram observes, "While I come back rejuvenated wanting to hug my family 20 times more, I am equally overwhelmed and overjoyed by the fact that in my absence my all-male family — husband and two sons — had a whale of time and looked after themselves rather well."

Bose receives a lot of queries about women trips from fathers, sons and husbands. A heartening trend by all means.

It’s not just GenNext women, who are expressing their individuality. Sumitra Senapaty, who found the Women on Wanderlust club for women wanting to travel alone, says, "Our clientele cuts across an age spectrum ranging from 25 to 75 years."

Travel is not the only way women are venting out their desire to be themselves. There are some like Anuja Lath, CEO of RedAlkemi and Indian Art Collectors, for whom taking her one-hour-long walk or going for a Vipasana meditation camp is as vital for introspection as is learning new skills. A trained artist, she felt the urge to equip herself with fundamentals of architecture, while constructing her farmhouse near Chandigarh. She immersed herself in getting the basics of architectural designs and even offers free advice to her friends. She avers, "Meeting the twin demands of work and family is, by itself, a huge challenge. Trying to rope in your passions in between requires even greater willpower."

Yet, many have willed themselves to find time, inclination and resolve to follow their hearts. The numbers, as of now, of such women may be miniscule but are increasing all the same. Wanting more out of life is not a sin. They know it and thank god those around them understand it too. And if it seems these women are having their cake and eating it too, well they have every right to do so.

Passing fad or fruitful trend? Many women are pursuing hobbies to nurture the individual within Sceptics may argue that the trend of women indulging in a leisure activity is nothing new. After all, kitty parties, where women spend a whole lot of time, money and energy, are also pure indulgence. And these parties have become a de facto urban phenomenon. So can the leisure activities be dubbed an extension of kitty culture? Sumitra Senapaty disagrees completely. She is positive that women, who approach her club for travelling sans family, are not the diamond-and-chiffon brigade but an "evolved" lot. According to a sociological scientist, the trend is more about expansion of choices, which is what defines freedom. However, others opine that it is not about women’s empowerment. Many of these women have already tasted liberation. So is it a need? Says Dr Rajesh Gill, Chairperson, Departments of Sociology and Women’s Studies, Panjab University, Chandigarh, "Needs are not natural but socially determined." She adds that if women are doing this to outdo each other or to prove a point then it is no better or worse than other trappings of an affluent life. However, if these women are pursuing their passions unmindful of the rat race, and purely for personal satisfaction, then it’s a different matter. Either way, no one can hold it against them."