Webside HUMOUR
Dog’s day out

An ad in a local newspaper read: "Purebred Police Dog $25." Thinking it to be a great bargain, Mrs Freeman ordered the dog to be delivered. The next day, a van pulled up and left her the mangiest-looking mongrel she had ever seen.

In a rage, she telephoned the man who had placed the ad. "What do you mean by calling that mangy-mutt a purebred police dog?" "Don’t be deceived by his looks, Ma’am," he replied. "He’s in the Secret Service."

The man looked a little worried when the doctor came in to administer his annual physical, so the first thing the doctor did was to ask whether anything was troubling him. "Doctor, I seem to be getting forgetful. I’m never sure I can remember where I put the car keys, or whether I answered a letter, or where I’m going, or what it is I’m going to do once I get there — if I get there." "So I really need your help. What can I do?" In his kindliest tone, the doctor answered, "Pay me in advance."

Error regretted

A building contractor was being paid by the week for a job that was likely to stretch over several months. He approached the owner of the property and held up the cheque he’d been given. "This is $200 less than we agreed on," he said.

"I know," the owner said. "But last week, I overpaid you $200, and you never complained."

The contractor said. "Well, I don’t mind an occasional mistake. But when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call it to your attention."

Who’s the boss?

A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool and show, who was boss on the aviation frequencies. So, this was his first time approaching a field during the night time.

Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said: "Guess who?"

The controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess where!"

Compiled by Sunil Sharma