Webside HUMOUR
Badgered

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked with the old rancher. "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." "Okay, but don’t go in that field over there."

The DEA officer verbally explodes, saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!"

Reaching into his pocket, he proudly displayed his badge to the rancher. "See this badge? It means, I am allowed to go wherever I wish, on any land!"

The rancher nodded politely. "I’m sorry," and with that he went about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams. He looked up and saw the DEA officer running for his life with the rancher’s big Santa Gertrudis bull in hot pursuit. The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs: "Your badge! Show him your BADGE!!"

All the fish

A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all travelling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don’t think it’s fair — there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?"

"Ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly asked the man.

"Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied.

The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch ‘all’ the fish?"

Future safe

A young job aspirant was asked a tricky question during an interview, "Where do you see yourself in five years’ time?"

"In the mirror, as always," the smart young man answered.

Compiled by Sunil Sharma