Webside HUMOUR
God vs fishing

A young boy was late in coming to the Sunday school. The teacher, who knew that usually he was very punctual, asked the boy if anything was wrong. The boy replied that he wanted to go fishing but his dad asked him to go to church instead. The teacher was impressed. He asked the boy if his dad had explained it to him why it was more important to come to church than to go fishing. The boy replied, "Yes, he did. Dad said he didn’t have enough bait for both of us."

A lawyer was cross-examining the doctor about whether or not he had checked the pulse of the deceased before he signed the death certificate.

"No", the doctor said. "I did not check his pulse." "And did you listen for a heartbeat?" asked the lawyer.

"No I did not," the doctor said. "So," said the lawyer, "when you signed the death certificate, you had not taken steps to make sure he was dead." The doctor replied, "Well, let me put it this way. The man’s brain was in a jar on my desk but, for all I know, he could be out, practicing law somewhere."

The workers in a large office were making secret plans to stage a big farewell party at the office for the 70-year old cleaning woman, who had spent the better part of her life with the company. Somehow the secret leaked out and the woman got wind of it.

Much perturbed, she rushed to the office manager. "Please sir," she begged him, "Do not let them do it! Do not let them do it!"

"Oh, come now, Mrs. Smith, you must not be so modest. After all, they simply want to show how much you are appreciated."

"Appreciated, my foot," exclaimed the woman. "I am not going to clean up after a mess like that!"

Compiled by Sunil Sharma