Webside HUMOUR
Weight loss therapy

Tyson was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds."

When Tyson returned, he shocked the doctor by losing Nearly 20 pounds.

"Why, that's amazing?" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

Tyson nodded, "I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."

"From hunger, you mean?"

"No, from skipping."

One night their dog suddenly began barking almost every night at around 3 a.m. Irritated and sleepy, the owner, Larry, searched the backyard for what might have disturbed this otherwise peaceful animal. For three days, he found nothing amiss. When the dog woke up the neighbourhood a fourth night at 3 a.m. with frantic barking, Larry finally snuck around the house through the alley only to discover our quiet neighbour, the last man you’d suspect of wrongdoing, throwing pebbles over the fence at the dog.

Angrily Larry demanded to know what he was doing.

"My mother-in-law is visiting," the embarrassed neighbour explained. "If she gets woken up in the middle of the night one more time she says she’ll leave."

A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf and enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. Being a hack golfer, he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway. He looks at the caddy and says, "I’ve played so poorly all day, I think I’m going to go drown myself in that lake."

The caddy looks back at him and says, "I don’t think you could keep your head down that long."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma