Webside HUMOUR
Gaining sense

A man was just waking up from anaesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You are beautiful." Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You are cute!"

The wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful," it was now "cute."

She said, "What happened to ‘beautiful’?"

Her husband replied, "The drugs are wearing off!"

Three mice are sitting around drinking and boasting about their strengths. The first mouse says, "Mouse traps, Ha! I do push-ups with the bar".

The second mouse pulls a pill from his pocket, swallows it, and says with a grin "D-Con Rat Poison". The third mouse finishes his drink, slams his glass on the table and starts to leave.

The first mouse says, "Where do you think you’re going?"

"Time to go home and chase the cat."

After a lady’s car had leaked motor oil on her cement driveway, she bought a large bag of cat litter to soak it up. It worked so well, that she went back to the store to get another bag to finish the job. The clerk remembered her. Looking thoughtfully at her purchase, he said, "Lady, if that were my cat, I’d put him outside!"

A man was on a beach when he discovered an old lamp in the sand. He rubbed it and a genie popped out. The genie said, "I will grant you three wishes. The only condition is that you cannot wish for more wishes."

"Alright," said the man, "I wish for more genies."

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma