Webside HUMOUR
Encouraging brother

MARY had a tough day. Shes stretched on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved self-pitying and complaining. She moaned to her mother and brother, "Nobody loves me ... the whole world hates me!"

Her brother, who was busy playing a game on his computer, hardly looked up at her, while passing an encouraging word: "That’s not true, Mary. Some people don’t even know you."

Knit pick

A police officer sees an old lady driving and knitting at the same time. After following her for a while, he yells at her, "PULL OVER!!!".

She replies, "No, a pair of socks".

Little Joe walked into his father’s study while his father was working on the computer.

"Dad," said Joe, "Remember you had told me you’d give me $20 if I passed my maths test?"

Dad nodded. "Well, the good news is that I just saved you 20 bucks."

Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the sixth one, a man on the bench across him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn’t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth and make you fat."

Little Johnny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old. He had all his teeth and was fit as a fiddle."

The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat six candy bars at a time?"

Little Johnny answered, "No, but he did mind his own business!"

When a woman got married she put a shoebox in the closet and told her husband not to open it. After over 50 years of marriage she was dying and told him to open the box. When he opened it, there were 2 doilies and $85,000.00 He ask why this was in the box. She replied "when I got married my mother told me to crochet a doily every time I got mad at you.

He smiled thinking she was only mad twice and ask what the $85,000.00 was. She replied that’s the money from selling the doilies.

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma