Webside HUMOUR
Horrible future

Jennifer visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news:

"There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared at the woman’s lined face, then, at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself.

She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller’s gaze, steadied her voice, and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"

The doctor answered the phone and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.

"We need a fourth for poker," said the friend.

"I’ll be right over," whispered the doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"

"Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, three other doctors are there already."

A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party, everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age.

The husband responded, "When we were first married, we came to an agreement. I would make all major decisions and my wife would make all minor decisions. And in 60 years of marriage, we have never needed to make a major decision"

A man walking down the street noticed a small boy trying to reach the doorbell of a house. Even when he jumped up, he couldn’t quite reach it.

The man decided to help the boy, walked up on to the porch and pushed the doorbell. He looked down at the boy, smiled and asked, "What now?"

Running frantically, the boy said, "Now we run like crazy."

Sam: "Dad, would you do my math homework for me"?

Dad: "No, son, it wouldn’t be right".

Sam: "Well, at least you could try".