Webside HUMOUR
Wedding speech

A groom was getting married to a doctor’s daughter. At the wedding reception, the father of the bride stood to read his toast, which he had scribbled on a piece of scrap paper. Several times during his speech, he halted, overcome with what everyone assumed was a moment of deep emotion.

But after a particularly long pause, he explained, "I’m sorry. I can’t seem to make out what I’ve written down." Looking out into the audience, he asked, "Is there a pharmacist in the house?"

Two blondes go on a fishing trip. They rent all equipments: reels, rods, wading suits, rowboat, car, and even a cabin in the woods. The first day they go fishing, but they don’t catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they’re driving home they're really depressed. One blonde turns to the other and says, "Do you realise that this one lousy fish we caught cost us $1500?"

The other guy says, "Wow! It’s a good thing we didn’t catch any more!"

Trial and error

Before a burglary trial, the judge explained to the defendant, "You can let me try your case, or you can choose to have a jury of your peers."

The man thought for a moment. "What are peers?" he asked.

"They’re people just like you — your equals."

"Forget it," retorted the defendant. "I don’t want to be tried by a bunch of thieves."

Teacher, "Why was George Washington standing in the bow of the boat as the army crossed the Delaware?"

Student, "Because he knew if he sat down, he would have to row."

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.